Easter Jokes and Puns https://www.southernlivin
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Posted On: 04/21/2019 8:05:01 AM
Easter Jokes and Puns
https://www.southernliving.com/easter/easter-jokes
What kind of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear?
14 Carrot Gold
Where does Valentine’s Day come after Easter?
In the dictionary
One Easter, a father was teaching his son to drive when out of nowhere a rabbit jumped on the road. Slamming on the breaks, the son said, “I nearly ruined Easter! I almost ran over the Easter Bunny.” His father replied, “It’s okay son—you missed it by a hare.”
What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school?
He was eggspelled!
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?
It might crack up!
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?
Eggs-ercise, specifically hare-obics
How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
Only one—after that it’s not empty anymore!
Why did the Easter egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
Where does the Easter Bunny study medicine?
Johns Hopkins
Why won’t Easter eggs go out at night?
They don’t want to get beat up!
Why did the Easter Bunny have on a hat?
Because he was having a bad hare day.
Where does the Easter Bunny like to eat breakfast?
IHOP
What do you call a bunny with fleas?
Bugs Bunny
What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite kind of music?
Hip Hop
A parishioner was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" The parishioner replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
How does the Easter Bunny dry off?
With a hare dryer
Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
Because the chicken had his eggs!
What do you call a mischievous Easter egg?
A practical yolker
Why was the Easter Bunny arrested?
For hare-assment
What kind of stories does the Easter Bunny like best?
The ones with hoppy endings
What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backwards?
A receding hare-line
What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
Two points, just like everyone else!
How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur in place?
With hare spray
How can you tell which rabbits are oldest in a group?
Just look for the gray hares
Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
Because he kept quacking the eggs!
What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite sport?
Basket-ball
What do you call a sleepy Easter egg?
Eggs-austed
What do the Easter Bunny and Michael Jordan have in common?
They’re both famous for stuffing baskets
How do you make Easter easier?
Replace the “t” with an “i"
Why are bunnies the luckiest animals?
Because they each have four rabbits’ feet!
Easter egg hunts prove that your child can find something when they want to.
How do you make a rabbit stew?
Make it wait for three hours!
Why was Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail?
Because he’s too young to drive!
Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
What do you call an Easter egg from outer space?
Egg-stra terrestrial
What comes at the end of Easter?
The letter “r”
Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?
To a re-tail store
How does the Easter Bunny travel?
By hare-plane
Therapist: What’s been up lately?
Chocolate bunny: I don’t know Doc, I just feel so hollow inside.
What did the bunny with DirecTV say to the other bunny?
I can’t believe you still have rabbit ears!
364 days of the year: Do NOT eat anything you find on the ground.
Easter: Go and search in the dirt for candy a strange giant bunny left for you, kids!
https://www.southernliving.com/easter/easter-jokes
What kind of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear?
14 Carrot Gold
Where does Valentine’s Day come after Easter?
In the dictionary
One Easter, a father was teaching his son to drive when out of nowhere a rabbit jumped on the road. Slamming on the breaks, the son said, “I nearly ruined Easter! I almost ran over the Easter Bunny.” His father replied, “It’s okay son—you missed it by a hare.”
What happened to the Easter Bunny when he misbehaved at school?
He was eggspelled!
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?
It might crack up!
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?
Eggs-ercise, specifically hare-obics
How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
Only one—after that it’s not empty anymore!
Why did the Easter egg hide?
Because he was a little chicken.
Where does the Easter Bunny study medicine?
Johns Hopkins
Why won’t Easter eggs go out at night?
They don’t want to get beat up!
Why did the Easter Bunny have on a hat?
Because he was having a bad hare day.
Where does the Easter Bunny like to eat breakfast?
IHOP
What do you call a bunny with fleas?
Bugs Bunny
What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite kind of music?
Hip Hop
A parishioner was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" The parishioner replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
How does the Easter Bunny dry off?
With a hare dryer
Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
Because the chicken had his eggs!
What do you call a mischievous Easter egg?
A practical yolker
Why was the Easter Bunny arrested?
For hare-assment
What kind of stories does the Easter Bunny like best?
The ones with hoppy endings
What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backwards?
A receding hare-line
What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
Two points, just like everyone else!
How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur in place?
With hare spray
How can you tell which rabbits are oldest in a group?
Just look for the gray hares
Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
Because he kept quacking the eggs!
What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite sport?
Basket-ball
What do you call a sleepy Easter egg?
Eggs-austed
What do the Easter Bunny and Michael Jordan have in common?
They’re both famous for stuffing baskets
How do you make Easter easier?
Replace the “t” with an “i"
Why are bunnies the luckiest animals?
Because they each have four rabbits’ feet!
Easter egg hunts prove that your child can find something when they want to.
How do you make a rabbit stew?
Make it wait for three hours!
Why was Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail?
Because he’s too young to drive!
Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg, but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
What do you call an Easter egg from outer space?
Egg-stra terrestrial
What comes at the end of Easter?
The letter “r”
Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?
To a re-tail store
How does the Easter Bunny travel?
By hare-plane
Therapist: What’s been up lately?
Chocolate bunny: I don’t know Doc, I just feel so hollow inside.
What did the bunny with DirecTV say to the other bunny?
I can’t believe you still have rabbit ears!
364 days of the year: Do NOT eat anything you find on the ground.
Easter: Go and search in the dirt for candy a strange giant bunny left for you, kids!
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