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> Great story for someone wanting to live in the

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Post# of 127526
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Posted On: 03/14/2019 10:21:25 AM
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Posted By: wowhappens28

> Great story for someone wanting to live in the north & enjoy snow ❄️ .
> Is this living or what.
>
> DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:
>
> Moved to Wisconsin this fall. We heard that summers are fun and winter is
> beautiful. We think there is no more beautiful a place in the whole world!
>
> December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
> the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching
> the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
> print. So romantic,we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
>
> December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering
> every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more
> lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever
> had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did
> both our driveway and the sidewalks.
>
> This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and
> closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
>
> December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a
> white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have
> so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.
> I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our
> neighbor.
>
> December 14 - Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature
> dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
> breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This
> is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
> again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but
> I'll certainly get back in shape this way.I wish I wouldn't huff and puff
> so.
>
> December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
> Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the
> freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I
> think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
>
> December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the
> driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour,
> which I think was very cruel.
>
> December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
> Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay
> warm.Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
> Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God! I
> hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own
> living room.
>
> December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn
> stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by
> twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but. they said they're too
> busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store
> around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
> another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel
> or the city will have it done and bill me.I think he's lying.
>
> December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches
> of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till
> August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
> then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again,
> I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob-who has a plow on his
> truck-for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the
> asshole is lying.
>
> December 23 - Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
> wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she,
> nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago.She says she did but
> I think she's lying.
>
> December 24 - 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the
> shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
> bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his
> balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around
> the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling, and then he comes down the
> street..at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
> been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
> our presents...but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
>
> December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas!20 more inches of the damn slop
> tonight - snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate
> the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit
> him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I
> think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life"
> one more time, I'm going to feed her through a chipper shredder.
>
> December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was
> all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
>
> December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came
> after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $4,400 to replace all
>my pipes.
>
> December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving
> me crazy!!!
>
> December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
> could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
> think I am?
>
> December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is
> suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but
> also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went
> home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.
>
> December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
>
> January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep
> giving me. Why am I tied to the bed ???
>
> -Author Unknown


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