Seminar "How to avoid frauds" is canceled. Ticke

Seminar "How to avoid frauds" is canceled.
Tickets are non-refundable.

Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game.
Using a golf ball.

I hate German sausages...
They are the Wurst.

I accidentally called 911.
So I set my house on fire so I didn't look stupid.

If you glue a dead wasp to your palm, you can smack your boss on the back of the head as hard as you want and act like you saved him.

Marijuana is the gateway drug
to taking 45 minutes to pick out which color Gatorade you want to buy.

Thanks to heroin I think I'm addicted to needles.

My girlfriend told me to go out and get....
something that makes her look sexy... so I got drunk.

Life's like a bird,
it's pretty cute until it shits on your head.

When the bank gives my kid a lollipop...
I take it and eat it because I want him to understand how banks really work.

If you send me game requests on Facebook…
I'll visit an adult bookstore and tag you as being with me.

"Moooooooo"
bilingual donkey

Last time I saw my girlfriend…
she was getting on a plane to Helsinki. You might say she vanished into Finnair.

Source SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib