I just turned my laptop on I think it's the way
Post# of 123706
I think it's the way I stroke the keys.
Whenever I watch a movie about bands performing I'm shocked at all of the sax and violins.
I'm trying to lose weight using a treadmill, but I just feel like I'm going nowhere
I wanted to play pro football But I realized:
I'm 100 pounds too light, 5 inches too short...
and 100 IQ points too much.
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death. But then, I'm in no hurry.
I think it's time to clean the fridge. Something just closed the door from the inside.
I'm still playing with a full deck.
I just shuffle slower these days.
The Internet: all of the piracy, with none of the scurvy.
Halloween is by far the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your front porch.
At my mother-in-law's funeral my wife whispered in my ear, "I'm gonna get you for this." I don't know what she was so angry about. Maybe it was because I was not sharing my popcorn.
Source SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib