Twas the night before Utopyamas, and all through t

Twas the night before Utopyamas, and all through the boards
Not a basher was posting, not even JCS their fake lord
The stockmarket was closed with eight hours to spare
We hope that Mr White soon will be there
The Utopyans were nestled all snug in their beds
While INV33 was comatose from his meds
Rhonda S. in her kerchief and I in my cap
Had just drank some fortys before a long winters nap
When out on the web there arose such a clatter
I finished my forty and also Ms Shaffners
Away to the computer I flew like a bird
I entered my screen name and password
The screen of Investors Hangout started to glow
With post after post of the big news below
When what to my drunken eyes should appear
Three Utopya phones in hi-def crystal clear
With news like this there was no looking back
I mean who gives a piss about that silly MTAC
Mr White had come through in all of his glory
The Utopyan dream no longer a fake news story
Oh no what is this I awoke with a snore
I was only dreaming and the dog shit on the floor
So here I sit as I wait and I wait
While Hot Asian Singles taunt me as I contemplate

WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!

(disclaimer: I changed the last word as my mother reads this site)

WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!