My date saying that I reminded her of her father
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(Total Views: 112)
Posted On: 01/30/2019 1:06:04 PM
My date saying that I reminded her of her father
...would have made me feel much less uncomfortable had she said it at dinner than it did the next morning.
The woman at the table next to me... has been whining and complaining about her boyfriend for the last 20 minutes. I'm not even in the relationship and I've broken up with her 4 times in my mind.
I haven’t received any good news lately.
I’m starting to think that 5th grade fortune teller at my nephew’s fall festival may have been a fraud.
Me: my friend died in her sleep :
My grandpa: back in my day we walked uphill 10 miles before we died.
What does it mean…
when your doctor slaps the beer from your hand?
Does the Baileys in my morning coffee count as
1 serving of Dairy?
Whenever I see a pretty girl tending her cows in
a pasture, I like to go out and smell her dairy-air.
I always cry at the same spot in the movies............at the ticket window.
I live like I type..................fast and with lots of mistakes.
Instead of saying "a life was saved", shouldn't it be "a death was postponed?"
Why don't we take this relationship to the next level and you lend me some money?
Whenever I'm feeling sad, I try to imagine a T-Rex playing golf.
In order to catch a bus, one must first think like a bus.
I'd have to say my biggest downfall was..............................about two flights of stairs.
I put the un in predictable.
I don't wake up in the morning.....................I come to.
I got so nervous trying to take some pot through customs, I weed my pants.
Some guy called me a tool.
So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
...would have made me feel much less uncomfortable had she said it at dinner than it did the next morning.
The woman at the table next to me... has been whining and complaining about her boyfriend for the last 20 minutes. I'm not even in the relationship and I've broken up with her 4 times in my mind.
I haven’t received any good news lately.
I’m starting to think that 5th grade fortune teller at my nephew’s fall festival may have been a fraud.
Me: my friend died in her sleep :
My grandpa: back in my day we walked uphill 10 miles before we died.
What does it mean…
when your doctor slaps the beer from your hand?
Does the Baileys in my morning coffee count as
1 serving of Dairy?
Whenever I see a pretty girl tending her cows in
a pasture, I like to go out and smell her dairy-air.
I always cry at the same spot in the movies............at the ticket window.
I live like I type..................fast and with lots of mistakes.
Instead of saying "a life was saved", shouldn't it be "a death was postponed?"
Why don't we take this relationship to the next level and you lend me some money?
Whenever I'm feeling sad, I try to imagine a T-Rex playing golf.
In order to catch a bus, one must first think like a bus.
I'd have to say my biggest downfall was..............................about two flights of stairs.
I put the un in predictable.
I don't wake up in the morning.....................I come to.
I got so nervous trying to take some pot through customs, I weed my pants.
Some guy called me a tool.
So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
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