Hot Tub SpokesGoon/Acting Attorney General Matt Wh

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Hot Tub SpokesGoon/Acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker claims the Mueller investigation is just about ready to wrap things up and head over to Chili's for margaritas and wings.

I think it'd kinda cute that this cud-brained partisan hack imagines Bodacious Bob lets him in on anything important, rather than simply sending him on his way with a pat on the head and a lollipop.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211743434

And now that the government is open again, and people are getting paid, Nancy Pelosi called up the President to say, “Very well, Little Man Shart. You may have your State of the Union speech now,” and Wee Don said, “Oh thank you Miz Nancy, please don't hurt me anymore,” and Pelosi said “Well, we're fitting you with a shock collar that goes off every time you lie, so we figure you'll get about six minutes in before you pass out.”

Anyway, in spite of his approval ratings being sent directly to jail without passing go or collecting $200, Government Cheese Goebbels has somehow convinced himself that he's winning, that America's love for the Big Dumb Wall is matched only by their adoration for their Turd Emperor himself, and that threatening another shutdown is a good idea. It's like burning your hand on a stove, and then immediately tea-bagging the very same stove.



Or maybe he'll just declare a state of emergency, at some non-specific point in the future, after he's exhausted all other avenues. That isn't how emergencies work, old man. If you can schedule it, it can't be an emergency. I know words are hard for you.

Well, I hope I survive the week to blog again, my friends. Word is, it's getting mighty dang cold up here in Chicago. Don't worry though, I have plenty of supplies* to see me through the worst of it.

*Beer

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