Hey chowie, read the polls. Despite Melania giving

Hey chowie, read the polls. Despite Melania giving Shart Garfunkel plenty of practice handling 'no', he can't seem to handle it from the Speaker of the House he shall not enter.

Probably will take two or three readings of this before your 'comprehension lobe' lights up, dimly though that will be.

Enjoy, there's plenty more to come .

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The Bonespur Butthead Bigot’s Burger Blunder, and Other Bnews

The Shart Administration’s deep commitment to populism was on display when economic adviser Kevin Hassett congratulated all the furloughed federal workers on their unexpected bonanza of vacation time!

Yes, it’s just like a vacation, Kev, except instead of dropping acid and going on It’s a Small World or puking your way through a Napa Valley wine tour, you’re making fun decisions about whether to pay your rent or pick up your child’s lifesaving prescription from the pharmacy! More of a staycation, really.

Hey, didja see that story where the Tangelo-Tinged Treasonweasel keeps doing everything he can to conceal the contents of his private meetings with Vladimir Putin from even his own advisors, up to and including confiscating his interpreter’s notes? Wow, that’s kinda weird, don’tcha think?

Thank God there’s no evidence that the Russians worked to install him in power or that he maybe colluded with them to attack American democracy or that he seems to be doing Putin’s bidding at every turn, because if any of that happened, I’d have some serious concerns, friends. I might even write my Congressman a sternly-worded letter, under those circumstances.

It’s not surprising, but still utterly insane, to see the GOP continue shrugging off every new revelation, however damning. Ted Cruz was seen in an Austin tattoo parlor, getting a tramp stamp that reads “Property of the Guy Who Insulted My Wife and My Dad.” Meanwhile Lindsey Graham gets more and more treasonous by the hour. I half expect him to hijack a nuclear submarine and defect.

The American court system has surely grown tired of winning in their multi-front conflict with the Shart Administration. The attempt to give your employer power to decide whether or not you’re allowed to have birth control? Blocked.

The malicious plan to turn the census into a tool of fear and oppression via the needless inclusion of a citizenship question? Smacked down.

The case seeking to force the President to tie his tie at an appropriate length like a goddamn grown-up is still pending, however.

Hosting the college football champs in the White House during the shutdown, the Velveeta Vulgarian was faced with a dilemma; how do you feed your guests when your kitchen staff is furloughed? Well, if you’re cheap, and you’re tacky, and you’re also a great big f*cking idiot, you just order a bunch of fast food.

And then, and this is the true genius stroke, you let it sit out till it gets cold, while you invite reporters to photograph this monument to your titanic stinginess, before feeding everybody nasty-ass room temperature burgers. It’s the DonaldTrumpest thing that’s ever happened.

Of course he made sure to tell everyone he paid for it his own self with his own money. (Which of course is almost certainly not true. And you know the cheap bastard didn’t tip the delivery driver.)

What I’ll never forget is the sight of him, gazing out with pride upon the bounty he’d provided, like a little kid who’s just made a castle on the lawn out of the dog’s shit.

How old were you when you figured out McDonald’s was 100% revolting if you let it sit out? Like, five? You tried it once, and never did it again for the rest of your life. It was probably your very first adult decision.

The Failing New York Times reports that Hairplug Himmler keeps pestering his advisors, “Can we pull out of NATO yet? How about now? How about now?” until John Bolton threatens to turn this car around and go home.

Look, just because the President is actively working to undermine the post-WWII international order that’s kept the peace for decades and just because that’s exactly what Vlad Putin has asked Santa Clause for every year since he was 3 doesn’t mean that the President is a Russian asset, but I have to admit that there aren’t a lot of other options that make sense.

http://showercapblog.com/the-bonespur-butthea...her-bnews/

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