BREAKING NEWS: Chiefs, Patriots, Saints and Rams
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BREAKING NEWS: Chiefs, Patriots, Saints and Rams forfeit upcoming championship games.
The Kansas City Chiefs, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints and Los Angeles Rams have all jointly agreed to forfeit their upcoming conference championship games this coming weekend.
As a result, Super Bowl LIII--which had been scheduled to take place on February 3rd in Atlanta--has been cancelled and for the first time in NFL history, there will be no league champion this year.
As the basis of their decision, the teams cited the possibility that one of the teams would be forced to suffer through the indignity of having to endure a celebration ceremony at the Trump White House.
When asked for comment, White House representatives expressed their disappointment in the teams' decision.
"Whatever team that would have won the Super Bowl is clearly missing out from what would have been quite a festive occasion," said White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
"The President had already lined up a deal with local supermarkets to provide previously opened Lunchables which had been returned for quality control issues. There's nothing that says congratulations on a well-earned winning season better than that right there."
Trump himself reportedly had been looking forward to toasting the winning team with champagne flutes filled with generic store brand ginger ale, the bottles of which had been stored in a room temperature closet and which have been previously opened in order to eliminate all carbonation.
Details at Eleven.