We went to Jacob Wohl's most important press confe

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We went to Jacob Wohl's most important press conference ever LOLOLOL

https://dealbreaker.com/2018/11/we-went-to-ja...-would-be/

When we left our quiet, comfortable home in the pre-dawn darkness to drive alone to Washington DC this morning, we did so with the solitary hope the eventual reward would warrant our sacrifice.

Oh, how it did.

Awaiting us hours down I-95 was the promise of a press conference being hosted by our old pal Jacob Wohl and some MAGA DC lawyer that he’d pulled into his latest venture: becoming a global private eye hellbent on destroying prosecutor Robert Mueller.

According to Jacob’s pre-sale, he was going to present a victim of sexual assault who would claim that her abuser was none other than Mueller himself. Our boy Jacob was going to show her off to the assembled press at a Holiday Inn in Arlington, VA and end the long investigation into his adopted daddy, President Donald Trump.

We had spent the previous day watching Jacob’s whole plan unravel in the most JacobWohlian way possible. The investigation firm that he claimed had contacted him turned out to be yet another of his adorable shell companies with a web registration bearing his email and a phone number that rang back to his mom’s cell.

He had also apparently forgotten to update the photo template on the website he fabricated, leaving up bio headshots of famous actors and models, stock photo faces, and of course, his own head. The whole thing was very cute and dumb and totally what we’ve come to expect from Jacob over the years.

What we didn’t expect though was just how utterly fucking shambolic the whole presser would be once we finally arrived at the Rosslyn Holiday Inn. It took us a while to find the conference room that Jacob and his pal Jack Burkman had taken from 11am to 2pm.

It was in a corner of the building and a litany of water pitchers had been laid out. By 11:30, the room consisted of about 8 people. Wohl and Burkman rolled in around 11:40, and Jacob sat up front, preparing – we assume – for his performance.

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JACOB WOHL, JACK BURKMAN PRESS CONFERENCE TURNS RIDICULOUS AS INFLATABLE RAT SHOWS UP BUT KEY WITNES

Source: Newsweek

Days after conservative lobbyist Jack Burkman announced that he had arranged for a woman residing in California to give a Washington D.C. press conference accusing special counsel Robert Mueller of sexual assault, the press conference flopped because the alleged accuser failed to show up.

Burkman told Newsweek on Tuesday that he had spoken to five women who were willing to go on the record accusing the special counsel of sexual assault. But he claimed that only one of these women had been properly vetted and was willing to speak publicly this week.

Hours before the press conference was scheduled to take place, however, Burkman announced that the woman had decided not to appear because she was afraid for her life. No evidence has been presented thus far that any women exist who want to accuse the special counsel in the Russia investigation of assault.

Nevertheless, a handful of people showed up to listen to what Burkman and his associate Jacob Wohl had to say at their noon press conference. At least one left-leaning activist brought a giant inflatable rat wearing a wig that resembled President Donald Trump.



Read more: https://www.newsweek.com/jacob-wohl-jack-burk...ce-1197493

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