20 moronic 1 liners...
1. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
2. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
3. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
4. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran.
5. I hate Russian dolls...so full of themselves.
6. A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
7. I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
8. What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people.
9. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
10. Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
11. "This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."
12. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
13. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
14. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
15. Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
16. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
17. Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, "Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh." The next whale says, "Shut up, Steve. You're drunk."
19. What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.
20. A baby seal walks into a club.
1. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
2. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
3. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
4. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran.
5. I hate Russian dolls...so full of themselves.
6. A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
7. I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
8. What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people.
9. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
10. Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
11. "This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."
12. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
13. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
14. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
15. Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
16. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
17. Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, "Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh." The next whale says, "Shut up, Steve. You're drunk."
19. What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs.
20. A baby seal walks into a club.
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