“Did you have any idea that he would turn out this way,

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wowhappens28 SaltyMutt #12604
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“Did you have any idea that
he would turn out this way, Mrs. Ice?”
“Not at all. He was a nice nice baby.”

On the first date:
Her: So are you a cat person or a dog person?
Me: I don’t see either on the menu. What page are you on?

A man was killed with a starting pistol today...
Police think it may be race-related...

Down on Sesame Street:
"Hey Ernie, would you like a delicious frozen dessert that's not quite as good as ice cream?"
"Sherbert"

I received a flier on anger management the other day...
THEN I LOST IT!!

Guy calls in on radio show
Guy: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
Host: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
Guy: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan.

Actual news headlines - >>>>>

20-YEAR FRIENDSHIP ENDS AT ALTAR

SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED

ARSON SUSPECT HELD IN MASSACHUSETTS FIRE

CHILD TEACHING EXPERT TO SPEAK

KICKING BABY CONSIDERED TO BE HEALTHY

LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

LEGISLATOR WANTS TOUGHER DEATH PENALTY

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED

NEW HOUSING FOR ELDERLY NOT YET DEAD

AIRLINE TRAVEL SAFER DESPITE MORE ACCIDENTS

MALE NATURIST MEMBERS RISE
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