“Did you have any idea that he would turn out
Post# of 123876
he would turn out this way, Mrs. Ice?”
“Not at all. He was a nice nice baby.”
On the first date:
Her: So are you a cat person or a dog person?
Me: I don’t see either on the menu. What page are you on?
A man was killed with a starting pistol today...
Police think it may be race-related...
Down on Sesame Street:
"Hey Ernie, would you like a delicious frozen dessert that's not quite as good as ice cream?"
"Sherbert"
I received a flier on anger management the other day...
THEN I LOST IT!!
Guy calls in on radio show
Guy: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
Host: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
Guy: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan.
Actual news headlines - >>>>>
20-YEAR FRIENDSHIP ENDS AT ALTAR
SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
ARSON SUSPECT HELD IN MASSACHUSETTS FIRE
CHILD TEACHING EXPERT TO SPEAK
KICKING BABY CONSIDERED TO BE HEALTHY
LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS
NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
LEGISLATOR WANTS TOUGHER DEATH PENALTY
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
QUEEN MARY HAVING BOTTOM SCRAPED
NEW HOUSING FOR ELDERLY NOT YET DEAD
AIRLINE TRAVEL SAFER DESPITE MORE ACCIDENTS
MALE NATURIST MEMBERS RISE