Stephen Colbert: ‘Legal analysis from No, Shit and Sherlock’
“According to sources at the White House, Donald Trump’s lawyers are telling him to refuse an interview with Robert Mueller,” said Stephen Colbert, going on to quote a New York Times report that read “because the president, who has a history of making false statements and contradicting himself, could be charged with lying to investigators”.
“Yes, it is a crack legal analysis from the law firm of No, Shit and Sherlock,” the host quipped, before making chicken noises at Trump to encourage him to sit down with Mueller.
“Robert Mueller is not Trump’s only problem,” Colbert continued. “A lot of people have called Trump a racist, but only because of what he says and does. The charge has upset presidential son and man who KYs his scalp, Donald Trump Jr.”
Colbert then showed footage from Trump Jr’s interview with the Daily Caller, in which he responded to charges of racism against his father by saying: “I know him, I’ve seen him my whole life, all the rappers, all the this.”
“All the this? That’s as much as you know about black people?” Colbert responded. “In black history month, we celebrate all the achievements of African Americans, from all the rappers to all the this.”
The host then showed another clip from the interview, where Trump Jr touts his father’s photos with black celebrities like Jesse Jackson and the Rev Al Sharpton.
“Classic defense,” the host concluded. “How could I be racist? I have pictures with black people.”
Trevor Noah: ‘Lighten up! The president was just joking!’
Trevor Noah of Comedy Central discussed how the White House responded to the fallout from one of Trump’s off-the-cuff remarks at a speech in Cincinnati.
“Yesterday at a speech in Ohio, Trump took a moment to complain about the Democrats who didn’t clap for him during the State of the Union,” Noah said, showing a clip of Trump saying that “someone called it treasonous” before adding, “Yeah, I guess, why not?”
“I’m still shocked that the president really will just repeat anything some random in a crowd shouts at him,” Noah joked. “Like, treason is not usually prosecuted in a call-and-response fashion. I wonder if that’s how we should get Trump to support better causes. We just go to his rallies and yell things out. ‘Ooh, Trump, Black Lives Matter!’”
“Now, for some reason, people with a hard-on for democracy didn’t like the president casually accusing his political opponents of treason,” the host went on.
White House press secretary Sarah Sanders, at the podium on Monday, said “the president was clearly joking with his comments, but what isn’t a joke is that Democrats refuse to celebrate the accomplishments of last year that have helped all Americans.”
“You guys, lighten up, the president was just joking about treason,” Noah said. “Just like when he was joking about Obama helping Isis, or when he joked about how the Russians should hack Hillary’s emails or, my favorite joke, when he said police should rough up people in custody.”
Seth Meyers on Trump’s ‘cheeseburger naps’
Finally, Seth Meyers ran through a list of headlines involving Trump this week, including continued negotiations over immigration reform.
“President Trump yesterday praised the Republican tax bill on Twitter, saying ‘America is once again open for business,” Meyers began. “The rest of the world said, ‘Cool, can we speak to your manager?’”
Meyers went on: “According to reports, President Trump will release his $1.5tn infrastructure plan on Monday. Apparently, he wants to take the weekend to practice saying infrastructure.”
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Meyers then briefly discussed the negotiations over the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (Daca), which Trump terminated last fall.
Trump: 'I'd love to see a shutdown' if Democrats don't yield on immigration
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Meyers said: “White House chief of staff John Kelly said today that some undocumented immigrants who are eligible for the Daca immigration program were ‘too lazy to get off their asses and sign up’.
“‘You tell ’em, John,’ said his boss, between cheeseburger naps,” Meyers joked.
“According to sources at the White House, Donald Trump’s lawyers are telling him to refuse an interview with Robert Mueller,” said Stephen Colbert, going on to quote a New York Times report that read “because the president, who has a history of making false statements and contradicting himself, could be charged with lying to investigators”.
“Yes, it is a crack legal analysis from the law firm of No, Shit and Sherlock,” the host quipped, before making chicken noises at Trump to encourage him to sit down with Mueller.
“Robert Mueller is not Trump’s only problem,” Colbert continued. “A lot of people have called Trump a racist, but only because of what he says and does. The charge has upset presidential son and man who KYs his scalp, Donald Trump Jr.”
Colbert then showed footage from Trump Jr’s interview with the Daily Caller, in which he responded to charges of racism against his father by saying: “I know him, I’ve seen him my whole life, all the rappers, all the this.”
“All the this? That’s as much as you know about black people?” Colbert responded. “In black history month, we celebrate all the achievements of African Americans, from all the rappers to all the this.”
The host then showed another clip from the interview, where Trump Jr touts his father’s photos with black celebrities like Jesse Jackson and the Rev Al Sharpton.
“Classic defense,” the host concluded. “How could I be racist? I have pictures with black people.”
Trevor Noah: ‘Lighten up! The president was just joking!’
Trevor Noah of Comedy Central discussed how the White House responded to the fallout from one of Trump’s off-the-cuff remarks at a speech in Cincinnati.
“Yesterday at a speech in Ohio, Trump took a moment to complain about the Democrats who didn’t clap for him during the State of the Union,” Noah said, showing a clip of Trump saying that “someone called it treasonous” before adding, “Yeah, I guess, why not?”
“I’m still shocked that the president really will just repeat anything some random in a crowd shouts at him,” Noah joked. “Like, treason is not usually prosecuted in a call-and-response fashion. I wonder if that’s how we should get Trump to support better causes. We just go to his rallies and yell things out. ‘Ooh, Trump, Black Lives Matter!’”
“Now, for some reason, people with a hard-on for democracy didn’t like the president casually accusing his political opponents of treason,” the host went on.
White House press secretary Sarah Sanders, at the podium on Monday, said “the president was clearly joking with his comments, but what isn’t a joke is that Democrats refuse to celebrate the accomplishments of last year that have helped all Americans.”
“You guys, lighten up, the president was just joking about treason,” Noah said. “Just like when he was joking about Obama helping Isis, or when he joked about how the Russians should hack Hillary’s emails or, my favorite joke, when he said police should rough up people in custody.”
Seth Meyers on Trump’s ‘cheeseburger naps’
Finally, Seth Meyers ran through a list of headlines involving Trump this week, including continued negotiations over immigration reform.
“President Trump yesterday praised the Republican tax bill on Twitter, saying ‘America is once again open for business,” Meyers began. “The rest of the world said, ‘Cool, can we speak to your manager?’”
Meyers went on: “According to reports, President Trump will release his $1.5tn infrastructure plan on Monday. Apparently, he wants to take the weekend to practice saying infrastructure.”
Facebook Twitter Pinterest
Meyers then briefly discussed the negotiations over the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (Daca), which Trump terminated last fall.
Trump: 'I'd love to see a shutdown' if Democrats don't yield on immigration
Read more
Meyers said: “White House chief of staff John Kelly said today that some undocumented immigrants who are eligible for the Daca immigration program were ‘too lazy to get off their asses and sign up’.
“‘You tell ’em, John,’ said his boss, between cheeseburger naps,” Meyers joked.
