SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress befo

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".

But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".

Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated."


FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you … when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

Bonus:


Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband.