I'm so confused. Does this make Karin and FINRA the shorts

I'm so confused. Does this make Karin and FINRA the shorts or is Alan the shorts? Am I still the shorts? I mean someone says I'm a shorter. But why would I short her if I don't even know her? I can't figure this whole mess out. And I really need to because it's getting cold up here. Need to find some pants but all I keep hearing about is shorts.

Go IPIX!