Quote:Mueller Rents Giant Warehouse to Store Evidence Against Trump
By Andy Borowitz
10:45 A.M.
![]()
Photograph by SWNS / Alamy
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Robert Mueller is renting a massive warehouse facility in suburban Virginia to accommodate the approximately forty cubic tons of evidence against Donald Trump that the independent counsel’s investigation is generating on a daily basis.
Employing over two thousand workers in a warehouse the size of seven football fields, the Mueller investigation has become the fastest-growing sector of the U.S. economy, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Working twelve-hour shifts, the members of Mueller’s evidence-storage team rarely leave the warehouse, where the punishing task of filing mountains of evidence against Trump proceeds around the clock.
“It’s like a city all its own,” one warehouse worker said. “There are people working in the Michael Flynn section who’ve never met the people working in the Paul Manafort section.”
While the warehouse workers are well paid, there have been issues with burnout. “The team in charge of filing all of Donald Trump, Jr.,’s different explanations of his meeting with the Russians had to take time off,” one worker said.
As gargantuan as the storage space appears to be, an aide to Mueller said that the investigation would soon be seeking a second, even larger warehouse. “We need a place to put all the Jared stuff,” the aide said.
Mueller Rents Giant Warehouse to Store Evidence Against
Top 10 Most Recent News Articles
Martin's Holiday Heatwave: Mixing Summer Flavors
Holiday Heatwave Meets Winter Cheer with Martin's Rolls Hold onto your oven mitts, folks, because Martin’s Famous Potato Rolls and Bread is stirring up the winter doldrums with an unexpected twist this holiday season. Forget the old cranberry sauce routine—it’s all about mixing sunny vibes with frosty festivities in their "Very Merry Martin’s: Holiday Heatwave."...
Continue Reading
Reversing Early Tooth Decay: Insights from Dr. Sakurai
Who would've thought your morning coffee ritual could be in cahoots with a silent tooth villain? Well, Dr. Kari Sakurai at Pacific View Smile Center slices through the noise with some fascinating insights on early tooth decay, spun out in an article by HelloNation. You see, Dr. Sakurai, like a dental James Bond, is fighting the good fight against cavities before they even...
Continue Reading
Boosting Heating Efficiency in Aging Massillon Homes
Tackling the Age-Old Heating Puzzle Ah, the charm of an older home—from the creaky floors to the vintage architecture, it's something else. But, let's face it, keeping these houses warm can feel like patching up an old ship. Our man Reid Sittler, HVAC aficionado from Massillon, Ohio, shares some no-nonsense insights on how to stop your precious heat from slipping...
Continue Reading
Check Point Q3 2026 Results: Subtle Shifts or a Turning Point?
Digging Deeper into Check Point's Latest Figures When Check Point Software Technologies Ltd. (NASDAQ:CHKP) throws numbers at the wall, not everything sticks, but there's always something telling. The Q3 financial results for 2026 are out, and it's a mixed bag—coffee’s getting cold before you parse through it. Revenue and Subscription Dynamics Let's cut to it: total...
Continue Reading
Potomac Edison Targets Virginia Grid Revamp by 2030
Strengthening the Backbone of Virginia's Power Supply Ever had your lights flicker on a windy day and wondered if the power grid would hold? Potomac Edison, under the banner of FirstEnergy Corp., is stepping up with a game plan to fortify the electric spine of Virginia and its neighbors. They're diving into a multi-state adventure, rebuilding and erecting 138 kV...
Continue Reading
Emergys and Glean Rearrange AI Puzzle for Enterprises
Enterprises on AI: From Dreams to Doing Alright, here’s a nugget for you: AI isn't just pie-in-the-sky jazz anymore. Some folks are finally bringing it down to Earth. Emergys, a player in digital transformation, is shaking hands with Glean, renowned for their enterprise AI chops, to turn enterprise chaos into clarity. It's all about squeezing out real returns and...
Continue Reading
Choice Hotels Hits Milestones and Faces Market Scrutiny
Another Quarter Under the Belt Just when you think the hospitality industry's running out of steam, Choice Hotels International decides to shake things up. Reporting their third quarter 2026 results, the big picture here demands an attentive eye from investors. In the turbulent world of lodging franchises, NYSE:CHH is making waves, and I mean literal waves, as they surf...
Continue Reading
Exploring 'Deeper Prayer': A Journey with Apostle Paul
A Deep Dive into the Prayers of Apostle Paul Gary P. Rohrmayer's latest devotional takes believers on a unique journey, exploring the Apostle Paul's prayers across his missionary paths. But don't expect just another preacher prophesying from the pulpit. This is more like peeling back layers of history, bit by bit. 28 Days of Spiritual Insights Each day within the book...
Continue Reading
Chemours Targets AI Cooling with Faizeon™ Launch
Disruptive Cooling Technology in AI's Fast Lane The data centers that underpin our computational age are becoming sweatshops with all this AI-driven heat. Enter Chemours and its fresh Faizeon™ cooling fluid line, ready to be the unsung hero tackling the ever-mounting thermal loads from burgeoning AI and high-performance computing (HPC). These babies are designed to deal...
Continue Reading
Florida Cancer Institute Expands: New Oncologist Joins Team
News in the medical world isn't just rattling desks today; it's a purposeful signal for cancer care's transformation. Florida Cancer Specialists & Research Institute (FCS) has beefed up its team, embracing Carlos Barbur, DO, an oncologist who's not just skilled but steeped in disciplines crucial for the health of many. Think of this as another puzzle piece fitting snugly...
Continue ReadingTop 5 Most Recently Viewed Articles
The Expanding Cannabis Market: Insights and Growth Trends
The Expanding Cannabis Market: Insights and Growth Trends The cannabis market is on a remarkable trajectory, estimated to grow from USD 72.83 billion in 2025 to an impressive USD 125.76 billion by the year 2030. This growth signifies a compound annual growth rate (CAGR) of 11.5%, driven by various factors including increasing legalization, a surge in therapeutic demand,...
Continue Reading
Cycurion Expands Market Reach with New Contracts Worth $1 Million
Cycurion Expands Market Reach with New Contracts Worth $1 Million MCLEAN, Va. — Cycurion (NASDAQ: CYCU), a prominent name in cybersecurity solutions, has marked a significant milestone by announcing five new contracts valued at around $1 million. These agreements, finalized in September, are poised to enhance the company’s growth trajectory, generating approximately...
Continue Reading
Knicks' Parade, Fed's Plan, and NYSE Buzz
Unexpected Scene on Wall Street It's not your regular morning in New York when the city preps for a parade that's been five decades in the making. The New York Knicks, finally snapping their 53-year NBA title drought, are heading down the iconic Canyon of Heroes. For some, this might just be a sports milestone, but make no mistake, it's got a way of energizing the whole...
Continue Reading
SP Group's Strategic Decision to Enhance Future Operations
SP Group Announces Closure of Accoat Production Facility SP Group, owning Accoat A/S as a subsidiary, has decided to terminate all production operations at its Kvistgaard facility within the next year. This strategic move is meant to align with the evolving objectives of the entire SP Group. Assessing the Impact of Production Phase-Out The winding down process is...
Continue Reading
The Transformative Impact of Musk's Starlink on Telecom Industry
Elon Musk and the Future of Internet Access Telecom giants have long dominated the landscape of internet access, but a significant shift is now in progress. Renowned author and entrepreneur James Altucher has recently highlighted Elon Musk's Starlink as a revolutionary solution for internet connectivity. Altucher asserts that Starlink, with its network of satellites,...
Continue Reading