Me? A Procrastinator? I'll prove you wrong somed
Post# of 123781
(Total Views: 792)
Posted On: 08/17/2017 12:00:56 AM
Me? A Procrastinator?
I'll prove you wrong someday, just you wait and see.
Hell hath no fury...
like a woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat.
I'm not arguing.
I'm explaining why I'm correct.
So "you're so beautiful when you're sleeping"
is only considered a compliment if she knows who you are.
Sorry for nicking your car with my door.
It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
My girlfriend just called me old fashioned.
I almost dropped my Walkman.
"Same sex marriage"?
I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
Cop: I see you failed to use your turn signal
back there. So I pulled an illegal u-turn, broke the speed limit and forced other drivers off the road with my flashing strobe lights so I could detain you and extort money from you...to teach you a lesson about unsafe driving habits.
Mini M&M's...
...for when you just can't finish an entire M&M.
I heard fish is good for your brain... but now I can't get the smell out of my hair.
My wife and I had words...
but I didn't get to use mine.
I won't rest until I find a cure for Insomnia.
Dressed as a pirate for Halloween...the small boy knocked on a door and was greeted by a matronly woman.
"Aren't you a cute little pirate", she said. "But where are your buccaneers?"
To which the little boy replied, "Under my buccan hat!"
I'll prove you wrong someday, just you wait and see.
Hell hath no fury...
like a woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat.
I'm not arguing.
I'm explaining why I'm correct.
So "you're so beautiful when you're sleeping"
is only considered a compliment if she knows who you are.
Sorry for nicking your car with my door.
It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
My girlfriend just called me old fashioned.
I almost dropped my Walkman.
"Same sex marriage"?
I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
Cop: I see you failed to use your turn signal
back there. So I pulled an illegal u-turn, broke the speed limit and forced other drivers off the road with my flashing strobe lights so I could detain you and extort money from you...to teach you a lesson about unsafe driving habits.
Mini M&M's...
...for when you just can't finish an entire M&M.
I heard fish is good for your brain... but now I can't get the smell out of my hair.
My wife and I had words...
but I didn't get to use mine.
I won't rest until I find a cure for Insomnia.
Dressed as a pirate for Halloween...the small boy knocked on a door and was greeted by a matronly woman.
"Aren't you a cute little pirate", she said. "But where are your buccaneers?"
To which the little boy replied, "Under my buccan hat!"
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