They Sure Did Pick a Couple of Super Sleuths to Replace

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Apr 6, 2017 at 1:40 PM 188

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They Sure Did Pick a Couple of Super Sleuths to Replace Devin Nunes

We are not in good hands.

By Charles P. Pierce
Apr 6, 2017

WASHINGTON—You just knew that the great, galumphing beast that is the U.S. House of Representatives would somehow blunder into the news cycle one last time before everybody in Congress goes home for Easter.

So, on Thursday morning, as the Senate was gathering its strength for the great, warm gusts of hot air that would be expended on the nomination of Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Devin Nunes of California, took himself out of the lead role in investigating Russian ratfcking into the 2016 presidential election.

Moreover, Nunes said he was stepping away from this job due to complaints filed against him before the House Ethics Committee concerning his extremely weird slow-dance with the White House, which culminated in his visit to The Mansion in the dark of night. In his statement of withdrawal, Nunes said:

"I believe it is in the best interests of the House Intelligence Committee and the Congress for me to have Representative Mike Conaway, with assistance from Representatives Trey Gowdy and Tom Rooney, temporarily take charge of the Committee's Russia investigation while the House Ethics Committee looks into this matter."

In his weekly performance as a Serious Man of Ideas, Speaker Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny starver from the state of Wisconsin, said that Nunes was acting nobly by stepping away so as not to be "a distraction" to the committee's investigation.

The press conference, which was supposed to be pitching the House's high-risk-pool amendment to the dead fish American Health Care Act, ended shortly thereafter.

And now, dear Jesus, things are in the hands of Trey Gowdy, the lopheaded Javert of Benghazi snoopery, and Mike Conaway, Republican of Texas, who makes Gowdy look like Sherlock Holmes. From The Texas Tribune:

"Putin hated Secretary Clinton so much that the flip side of that coin was that he had a clear preference for the person running against the person he hated so much," Comey said. "Yeah, that might work on Saturday afternoon when my wife's Red Raiders are playing the Texas Longhorns," Conaway said.

"She really likes the Red Raiders ... but the logic is that because [Putin] really didn't like ... candidate Clinton, that he automatically liked Trump. That assessment is based on what?" "It's based on more than that, but part of it is ... the logic," Comey answered. "Whoever the Red Raiders are playing, you want the Red Raiders to win. By definition, you want their opponent to lose."

Conaway also has a gift for the felicitous analogy. From The Dallas Morning News:

Rep. Mike Conaway, R-Midland, is comparing the use of Mexican entertainers to energize Democratic voters to the email hacking that officials say was orchestrated by Vladimir Putin's government.

"Harry Reid and the Democrats brought in Mexican soap opera stars, singers and entertainers who had immense influence in those communities into Las Vegas, to entertain, get out the vote and so forth," Conaway told The Dallas Morning News this week.

"Those are foreign actors, foreign people, influencing the vote in Nevada. You don't hear the Democrats screaming and saying one word about that."

The guy who is taking over for Devin Nunes, a chairman who lost his credibility because of his close relationship with the White House, is a guy who's smiling away there under his MAGA hat, and who thinks Russian hackers are roughly the same as strolling mariachi bands. If things are looking up, I don't think they're looking up very far, and I'm unconvinced by Paul Ryan that things are in good hands going forward.

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