Quote:Now he is out there pimping the dungheap that is the new healthcare reform bill as though Mitch and Murray from downtown were lighting his pants on fire.
What’s my plan called? F*ck you, that’s what it’s called! LOL!
Paul Ryan Doesn't Know How Insurance Works
But he's got his sleeves rolled up, so watch out.
![]()
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics...cialflowTW
I had thought that the burlesque comic opera The Agony of Paul Ryan, Genius had closed on the night in 2012 when Joe Biden laughed the zombie-eyed granny starver off the stage during their debate.
(That was the night that Ryan demonstrated that he knew it snowed in Afghanistan in the winter.)
But I had not reckoned with his many fanboys among the kept political press. He ascended to become Speaker of the House, largely because nobody else wanted the job after John Boehner got kicked to the curb by the crazy people.
Now he is out there pimping the dungheap that is the new healthcare reform bill as though Mitch and Murray from downtown were lighting his pants on fire.
He even lost the suit coat and broke out the PowerPoint on Thursday. It was like watching something on cable access late at night, or a flop-sweaty rookie substitute teacher, and it was hilarious—except for the parts where people will lose their health insurance and die, of course. And this is what he said and, peace be unto Dave Barry, I am not making it up, either:
Paul Ryan said that insurance cannot work if healthy people have to pay more to subsidize the sick. This is literally how all insurance works.
If someone's house burns down, some of your fire insurance money goes to help that person rebuild. If someone gets sick, some of your premium, healthy person, goes toward that person's coverage.
Increasingly, I have come to believe that Paul Ryan is a not particularly bright creature from another world. Let us see if we can explain this to the lad.
Let's say that, in 1986, a 16-year-old lad loses his father to a sudden heart attack. Despite the fact that the family's construction firm is relatively prosperous due to its generous share of government contracts, the family's finances are considerably straitened.
For the next two years, the young man and his mother receive Social Security survivor's benefits. Of course, these came from millions of people who had Social Security withheld from their paychecks and whose fathers did not die young due to a sudden heart attack.
One of them was, say, a 32-year-old sportswriter for the Boston Herald, who had Social Security withheld from what he was paid to watch the Red Sox blow the '86 World Series, and whose father was still alive, but slipping fast into Alzheimer's.
Some of his money went to make sure Paul Ryan could complete high school and go on the college and get the BA in economics that made him the smartest man in the world.
Got it now?
Also, you're welcome, rube.
Now he is out there pimping the dungheap that is the new
Top 10 Most Recent News Articles
Qfin Holdings Faces Securities Fraud Class Action Challenges
Troubles Mount for Qfin Holdings Well, you don't need a crystal ball to see this storm brewing for Qfin Holdings, Inc. (NASDAQ:QFIN). On the heels of a nasty 18.91% nosedive in their stock price, a class action lawsuit is looming overhead like a mischievous cloud ready to rain on investors' parades. It's the kind of legal and financial brew that could leave shareholders...
Continue Reading
Eastern Championship: Collegiate Cricket's U.S. Surge
Cricket's American Dream Marches On Out of the woodwork comes the Collegiate Cricket League's 2026 Eastern Championship set to unfold near Washington, D.C., from Nov. 6-8. Now, nobody's saying cricket is overtaking the popularity of football or basketball stateside, but this three-day slugfest at Hal & Berni Hanson Regional Park in Aldie, Virginia, isn't just for...
Continue Reading
SAFE's New Website: Engineering Excellence and Faith
A Bold Digital Step for SAFE Structure Designs Now here's a move worth watching. SAFE Structure Designs, that U.S.-rooted defense contractor with its fingers in a multitude of engineering pies, just rolled out a fresh new face on the web. This isn't merely an online facelift; it's a declaration of ambition and capabilities. They're showcasing eight specialized divisions...
Continue Reading
Lumentum Holders Question Marvell Deal Fairness: Legal Eyes
What's Brewing with Lumentum and Marvell? There's no denying the chatter on Wall Street when there's a potential shake-up, especially with a big merger at stake. We're staring down the barrel of an investigation concerning Lumentum Holdings Inc. (NASDAQ: LITE) and Marvell Technology, Inc.'s deal. The M&A Class Action Firm, helmed by Juan Monteverde, is the name leading...
Continue Reading
Crude Insight: Refining Margins Expand, LNG Orders Rise
Refining Margins Stretch While LNG Orders Surge Well, folks, oil markets have sure been a rollercoaster lately. WTI futures danced all over the place, closing near $96 a barrel after brushing against both $93 and $99 earlier this week. Brent wasn't left out of the tango, setting at $103.60. Everyone's holding their breath each time these numbers come through. Energy...
Continue Reading
Farmer Sentiment Rises, Hints of Cautious Optimism
Sifting Through October's Optimism: Farmers' Sentiments October saw a glimmer of hope in the agricultural sector as the Purdue University/CME Group Ag Economy Barometer inched upward from 123 to 126. Sure, it's not a fireworks display, but it's a far cry from doom and gloom. This slim gain in sentiment comes on the coattails of some government help through Agriculture...
Continue Reading
BRIJ Medical Secures $5M: Paving Path for Product Launches
In a world where medical advancements keep shifting gears, BRIJ Medical just pulled a fast one by closing a $5 million financing round—outpacing their original $3 million target. What drove this sudden increase? Well, it's simple. Their existing investors spotted an opportunity too ripe to pass up, proving yet again, money talks when confidence backs it up. Expanding...
Continue Reading
China's Health-Driven Poverty Approach Offers Global Lessons
China's Health Strategy in Poverty Reduction Here's a story that's got global implications tucked into its every corner: China, a country that's been trying to mesh healthcare with poverty reduction, has caught the eye of international observers. This insight was splashed across the latest Lancet Commission report, showcased at Tsinghua University on October 29. It seems...
Continue Reading
ISU and Ares Forge Path in Solid-State Battery Tech
Solid-State Dreams Meet AI Magic Ah, the sweet sound of synergy. ISU Specialty Chemical and Ares Materials are brewing up something that could shake the battery world—solid-state cells juiced by AI-driven polymer magic. Now, the tech and finance geeks are likely on the edge of their seats. This isn't just another run-of-the-mill collab; it's a heavyweight match to speed...
Continue Reading
Investors Slam Coastal Financial: Class Action Looms Large
The air's thick with tension as Coastal Financial Corporation (NASDAQ:CCB) finds itself embroiled in a securities class action lawsuit. Investors who grabbed shares between October 28, 2024, and July 29, 2026, are in the spotlight and urging those with losses to make a move by the December 1, 2026, lead plaintiff deadline. Sounds like a real mess, doesn't it? Well, it's a...
Continue ReadingTop 5 Most Recently Viewed Articles
Manulife Board Announces Increased Dividend for Shareholders
Manulife Financial Corporation Announces Quarterly Dividend Manulife Financial Corporation is pleased to share that its Board of Directors has approved a remarkable quarterly common shareholders' dividend of $0.40 per share. This dividend is set to be paid to shareholders, marking a significant step in the company's commitment to returning value to its investors. Details...
Continue Reading
Exciting Talent Search Launches for Upcoming Air Bud Return
Cineverse and Air Bud Entertainment Announce National Talent Search One of Hollywood's Most Enduring Family Film Franchises Returns to Theaters in Summer 2026 Cineverse (NASDAQ: CNVS), a next-generation entertainment studio, alongside Air Bud Entertainment, is thrilled to declare the commencement of a nationwide talent search. This initiative seeks to find the next golden...
Continue Reading
Innofactor Plc Enhances Market Position Through Strategic Acquisitions
Innofactor Plc's Strategic Moves in the Digital Landscape Innofactor Plc, a prominent player in the digital transformation sector, continues to make waves with significant managerial transactions that signal its commitment to growth and innovation. On a notable date, the company recorded several transactions involving its leadership team, illustrating active engagement in...
Continue Reading
Celebrating Five Festive Years of Great American Christmas
Great American Media Celebrates 5 Years of Christmas Magic Great American Media is excited to invite fans from across the nation to join in its special live event commemorating the 5th anniversary of Great American Christmas. Taking place on a Wednesday evening, this event promises to be filled with Christmas cheer, insights, and beloved entertainment for all ages. Event...
Continue Reading
Innovative Collaborations Aim to Transform Drug Development
Flagship Pioneering and New Strategic Collaborations Flagship Pioneering has recently announced its exciting partnerships with Ampersand Biomedicines and Montai Therapeutics, signaling a significant leap forward in drug development efforts for obesity and cancer. These collaborations are structured under Flagship's strategic partnership with Pfizer, enhancing capabilities...
Continue Reading