Trump Says He Heard Frederick Douglass Was Alive

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Trump Says He Heard Frederick Douglass Was Alive from Betsy DeVos

And another thing. I wanted Samuel L. Jackson for Treasury. Wouldn't that be fantastic? I mean don't the American people deserve an answer to the question "what's in your wallet"?

Not enough is the answer, sadly. Samuel was unavailable. But boy we were ready to roll with "Man, I am tired of not enough mf'n money in my mf'n wallet!" It would have been amazing, just amazing.

By Andy Borowitz 10:43 A.M.



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Photograph by GL Archive / Alamy

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After raising eyebrows by suggesting that he believed that Frederick Douglass was still alive, Donald Trump revealed on Wednesday that everything he knew about Douglass had come from his Education Secretary nominee, Betsy DeVos.

“Betsy told me all about Frederick Douglass,” Trump told reporters. “I think she’s going to be a fantastic Education Secretary. She really made Frederick Douglass come alive.”

Before his breakfast meeting to mark Black History Month, Trump told DeVos, “Betsy, write down everything you know about black history so I can read it at the meeting. She took out a pen and did it in, like, three minutes. She’s fantastic.”

Impressed by the one-sentence summary that DeVos wrote about Frederick Douglass, Trump said that he was now considering Douglass for a top White House post.

“Based on what Betsy said about him, we could really use Fred’s energy around here,” Trump said.

He lashed out at the press for reporting that Frederick Douglass was dead, calling those reports “very unfair.”

“That’s a nasty thing to say about someone who is alive and doing a great job,” he said. “This is why the press is failing and they’re failing very, very badly.”

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