Finally, Something to Laugh About in This Godfors

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Finally, Something to Laugh About in This Godforsaken Campaign

By Charles P. Pierce Sep 23, 2016

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics...dorsement/

Sit, Ted. Beg. Now roll over. Who's a good servile puppy dog?

LOL! Tail Gunner should have delivered his endorsement from the El Paso PetSmart.

I'm having a little fun now imagining what the walkback on this one will be from El Caudillo del Mar-A-Lago.

"Rafael Cruz was not a co-conspirator with Lee Harvey Oswald in the murder of John F. Kennedy. Period."

Or…

"Heidi Cruz is not inferior in the looks department to my Balkan supermodel wife. Period."

Or, perhaps…

"There are no beans to spill on Honest Ted Cruz. Period."

Or...

"Ted Cruz tells the truth at all times and on all subjects. He is not Lyin' Ted. Period."

In a year in which the entire Republican Party demonstrated time after time that it has the collective backbone of pond algae and all the intellectual integrity of a flesh-eating virus, on Friday, we may well have reached Peak Sellout. Bring it to us, CNN.

"After many months of careful consideration, of prayer and searching my own conscience, I have decided that on Election Day, I will vote for the Republican nominee, Donald Trump," Cruz wrote in a Facebook post. "A year ago, I pledged to endorse the Republican nominee, and I am honoring that commitment. And if you don't want to see a Hillary Clinton presidency, I encourage you to vote for him."

Sure, he slandered my father and he mocked my wife, but I now will support him for president of the United States.

Not since 2008, when John McCain sucked up to the same forces that had soaked his young daughter in calumny four years earlier, have we seen such an abject spasm of hilarious self-abnegation as we saw from Tailgunner Ted Cruz, fearless fighter for the Constitution, dauntless soldier of the living Christ, and marshmallow-spined careerist.

There hasn't been much to laugh about in this godforsaken campaign, but I'm rolling on the floor over this one. What an absolute coward. What a comic fraction of a statesman. What a pocket-sized imitation of a United States Senator.

It is said that Cruz was persuaded to foul his reputation by Mike Pence and obvious anagram Reince Priebus. (He also is said to have been charmed by Trump's suggestion that Mike Lee, the konztitooshunal skolar from Utah, would make a good Supreme Court justice. Oy.)

I'd like to believe that it took more than the legendary persuasive power of the governor of Indiana and the emptiest suit in American politics to make someone make nicey-nice with a vulgar talking yam who tried to make that person's father an accessory-before-the-fact in the assassination of a president.

Now we know who the Tailgunner is. We're just haggling about the price. Which is not very much at all.

Remember this?

"I'm not in the habit of supporting people who attack my wife and attack my family. That pledge was not a blanket commitment that if you go and slander and attack Heidi that I'm going to nonetheless come as a servile puppy dog and say, 'Thank you very much for maligning my wife and maligning my father.'"

Sit, Ted. Beg. Now roll over. Who's a good servile puppy dog?

And, yes, you may have another.

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