‘It’s Hard Being Away From You All,’ Says Donald

New Post Public Reply Private Reply Replies (0) Message Board

Aug 7, 2016 at 1:33 PM

Quote:

‘It’s Hard Being Away From You All,’ Says Donald Trump While Spreading Bird Feed Around Rooftop Pigeon Coop


Trump checks on his favorite mated pair of pigeons, Isaac and Henrietta, marveling aloud at how much their nestlings have grown since he last saw them before the California primary

NEWS
June 20, 2016

Vol 52 Issue 24
Politics · Politicians · Election 2016 · Donald Trump

NEW YORK—Appearing relaxed and in high spirits as he sprinkled handfuls of bird feed around his rooftop coop, Donald Trump reportedly told his flock of domesticated pigeons Monday that it has been hard spending so much time away from them during his presidential campaign.

According to sources, the presumptive GOP nominee spread the mixture of seed and grain in a careful, even manner through the hand-built pigeon shelter that sits atop Trump Tower, gently assuring the birds he has not forgotten them and has greatly missed their usual time together.

He was then seen opening a single cage, taking out one of his many beloved pigeons, and cupping it in his hands as he tenderly stroked its feathers.

“Who’s hungry?” the billionaire real estate investor said as he pulled on a pair of old gardening gloves and grabbed generous helpings of feed from the pockets of a tattered denim coat. “Sorry I was gone so long, my loves. I hope you didn’t get too lonely.”

“I’ve been thinking about you,” he added with a smile.

The presumptive GOP presidential nominee closely inspects a member of his flock for mites.

Sources said Trump then gingerly scooped up an injured pigeon and inspected the homemade splint on her broken wing, noting to himself that the limb probably needed a few more weeks to heal.

According to accounts, the 70-year-old came upon the wounded bird last month while walking through Central Park to sit and read beneath his favorite shade tree. Trump is said to have immediately taken the bird in and has reportedly spent nearly a month nursing her back to health.

Those close to the presidential contender confirmed his pigeon-keeping hobby dates back to 1990, when his first marriage was failing and national media outlets were reporting regularly on the sordid details of his personal life and deteriorating finances.

Sources stated that when a distraught Trump decided to climb up to the roof of his building to be alone after defaulting on millions of dollars worth of Trump’s Castle Casino Resort mortgage bonds, he was visited by an especially curious and friendly pigeon with whom he bonded immediately, prompting the business mogul to raise an entire flock of the birds.

In the decades since, the Republican presidential candidate is said to have retreated to the roof of Trump Tower nearly every day to find solace in the birds’ company, often staying up there for hours at a time during his two divorces, four bankruptcies, and following his dismissal from the NBC show The Apprentice.

“Well, hello there, Samantha,” Trump said to a frail older pigeon as she perched upon his finger and he fed her a special blend of sprouts and pellets he had ordered to accommodate her fragile digestive system. “Good girl. Good girl.”

“Can you believe it’s been 10 summers since you first came to stay with me?” he continued, looking down on her wistfully as he scratched her belly. “Where does the time go?”

Trump was later seen running his fingers along the chicken-wire cages, moving aside old milk crates and buckets to look for any holes in need of repair, and, on occasion, pausing to coo softly at the birds he has bred over many generations. He was also heard humming a few bars of “My Blue Heaven” as he poured fresh water for his avian companions.

Sources confirmed that after opening the doors to a number of the cages, Trump took a long, deep breath, sat down in a lawn chair, and watched in visible contentment as his birds circled in formation high above the Manhattan skyline. Later, as the flock pulled a hard turn in response to his whistles summoning them home, he appeared unable to withhold a chuckle.

“You don’t have a care in the world—do you, my friends?” Trump said as one of the pigeons alighted on his shoulder and nestled its head against his neck. “My angels. You know, sometimes I feel like you’re the only ones I can really talk to.”

He added, “Gosh, I’d love to see the world from your eyes, from up there.”

Before closing up for the night and climbing back down the fire escape into his building, Trump reportedly paused to pick up a stray pigeon feather and tuck it into his breast pocket, knowing the memento would cheer him up the next time he felt blue.

http://www.theonion.com/article/its-hard-bein...whil-53123

Newer

Older

Scroll down for more posts ▼

Top 10 Most Recent News Articles

Stronghold's Unfulfilled Promise May Cost Coachella Millions

Coachella's Taxpayer Gamble City of Coachella decided to pull the plug on a deal that could've kept wallets fuller around here. Stronghold Power Systems officials say their shot at leading the municipal utility project got snagged by some bureaucratic red tape or maybe something else. Procurement Process: Two-year-long selection. Investment by Stronghold: $8 million of...

Max Stock Expands with Strategic Logistics Center

Expansion in Full Swing In a move that might get tongues wagging in the boardrooms across Israel, Max Stock Limited (TASE: MAXO) just signed a hefty lease for a logistics center in Ofakim. This isn't just a modest expansion—it's a jaw-dropper at about 45,000 square meters. We're talking about a major upgrade that'll beef up their logistical backbone as they continue...

October 15 Marks Prologis Q3 2026 Results Call

Prologis Steps Up to the Plate This October If you’ve got a finger in any logistic pies, make sure it's wrapped around the latest from Prologis come October 15. The logistics behemoth is rolling out the red carpet for its third quarter results, with all eyes on what their senior management will spill. Frankly, you don’t just show up to these things to sip coffee and...

EzCheckPrinting Boosts Remote Check Solutions Cost-Effectively

Navigating the Check Printing Landscape Let's dive right into the changing realities of the workspace. With remote work becoming the new standard, small businesses are juggling tighter budgets while trying to maintain smooth financial operations. It's a hard game, but here is where Halfpricesoft.com rolls out their newly upgraded multi-user ezCheckPrinting software,...

Curaleaf Eyes Growth: Conference Signals Opportunities

Curaleaf's Strategic Move: Getting in Front of Investors Here comes Curaleaf Holdings, stepping into the spotlight with their eye on increasing investor engagement. Announcing their participation in the ATB Cormark Capital Markets 2026 Fall Institutional Investor Conference, the folks at Curaleaf aren't just talking—they're putting their top brass under the lights. You...

Travel Smart: Support Wildlife, Avoid Exploitation

Rethink Wildlife Tourism for Ethical Travel You ever stopped to think about what those so-called wildlife attractions are really selling? It’s a feel-good illusion wrapped up in exploitation. Travelers often see animals as part of the backdrop of their holiday stories, but the reality is far from picturesque. Behind the photo ops, there's typically a grim story of...

Honoring Dr. Drew's Impact on Blood Banking History

Legacy of Dr. Charles R. Drew Comes Alive Here's one for the books: a legacy that's still saving lives 85 years after it began. Dr. Charles R. Drew, the mastermind behind blood banking, is getting his due respect with a documentary called Iconic Excellence. No fluff here—this film unveils how the man's breakthroughs during World War II laid down the bedrock of modern...

FirstEnergy's Bold Move: Dormo Joins to Boost Power

Changing the Game in Power Generation In the ever-shifting landscape of power generation, having a seasoned player at the helm can be the difference between stagnation and growth. FirstEnergy Corp. (NYSE:FE) has tapped Jon Dormo as its Vice President of Generation Project Development. The mission? Overhaul and expand projects to meet the increasing demands for...

Post-Facial Care: Extend Benefits Beyond the Spa

The Day After a Facial Is Just as Crucial If you’re thinking a facial ends when you walk out of the spa, you’re dead wrong. Valen Perez, the driving force behind Picture Perfect Esthetics LLC in Fayetteville, NC, breaks it down in HelloNation: the glow-wielding magic of a facial needs the right follow-up to really shine. You spend that cash on a pro facial, but...

Taiwan's Machine Emerges as Heavy-Tonnage Game Changer

Every once in a while, the machinery scene gets rocked by something that genuinely raises eyebrows, and it seems Chuan Lih Fa Machinery Works Co., Ltd. (CLF) has just delivered one of those moments. This isn't just any old injection molding machine—it's Taiwan's very first 5000-ton giant, crafted with robust precision and dispatched straight to a major U.S. logistics...