Cavs Replace “All In” Slogan with Quote from Jean-Paul

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Cavs Replace “All In” Slogan with Quote from Jean-Paul Sartre

Apropos of nothing 'political' EXCEPT some of the quotes could be adopted by some of those who post ass-on-fire, apocalyptic, stock up on gold, silver, canned goods, water and, of course, ammo 'cause the world is ending, jeremiads. LOL!

There may be other reasons to 'stock-up', but Hillary's election is not one of 'em. Anyway, enjoy the quotes, see yourselves in them for sure, some of ya.


By Andy Borowitz, 02:00 P.M.


Credit Source Photograph by Joe Robbins / Getty

CLEVELAND (The Borowitz Report)—As they prepare for Game 3 of the N.B.A. Finals, the Cleveland Cavaliers have replaced their official slogan, “All In,” with a quote from the French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre.

On Wednesday, workmen at Quicken Loans Arena unfurled a huge wine-and-gold banner emblazoned with the new Cavaliers slogan, “All Human Activities Are Doomed to Failure.”

The Cavaliers’ choice of an abridged quote from Sartre’s Being and Nothingness (1943) as their new slogan originated, as many of this season’s decisions reportedly have, with their superstar LeBron James.

“Ever since the Finals began, I’ve found myself turning again and again to Sartre,” James, who wore a beret as he spoke to reporters, said. “So I bought copies of Jean-Paul’s work for everyone on the team.”

One of those Cavaliers was Kyrie Irving, who said that, while he knew he had to work harder on defense against Golden State, “it is certain that we cannot escape anguish, for we are anguish.”

Teammate Matthew Dellavedova said that Cleveland must try to recapture the success with three-pointers that propelled it earlier in the playoffs, but added, “Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.”

J. R. Smith, who has failed to make much of an impact in the Finals, admitted that he has been disappointed by his performance so far. “I exist, that is all, and I find it nauseating,” he said.
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