For the record, I did NOT watch the Oscars. I woul

For the record, I did NOT watch the Oscars. I would rather give our cat a bath. While I like to watch movies, I couldn't care less what accolades those pompous egoists drape each other with. Just entertain me with the few dollars the government lets me keep and STFU about everything else.

Lord, help me to be the person that my dogs think I am...