Bartender: "You can't stand there, you're blocki

Bartender: "You can't stand there,
you're blocking the fire exit."
Me: "Don't worry, if there's a fire I won't be standing here."

I saw this gorgeous girl at the bar, so I walked over and said: "Where have you been all my life?" "Well," she said, "for the first half of it I wasn't even born."

I walked into a bar, ordered a drink,
and asked for a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

A bear walks into a bar and says:
"I'd like a beer and.................................................a bag of peanuts." The bartender says: "Why the big pause?"

A man sees Van Gogh in a bar and says:
"Vince, can I buy you a drink?" "No, I'm OK says Van Gogh, I've got one 'ere!"

A cowboy hedgehog walks into a bar
and says: "Gimme a slug of whiskey."

The local flasher has decided not to retire he figures he can stick it out one more year.

A hundred prostitutes in
Washington D.C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'