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Won a million dollar lottery and decided... to d

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Post# of 5246
Posted On: 12/19/2015 5:43:16 PM
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Posted By: getmoreshares
Won a million dollar lottery and decided...
to donate a quarter of it to charity. So I now only have $999,999.75 left.

News says there were a...
"record number of marijuana seizures" in 2015. Weird … after all these decades I've never had a single seizure.

This drink tastes like…
the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire.

Wild horses could easily drag me away.

A drunk guy calls a radio station...
...and tells the DJ,"I found this purse outside Raven's club. It has 1500 dollars in cash, a credit card, an iPhone 6s, and a driving license with Rebecca's name on it."
The DJ asks in an impressed tone, "It was good of you to call us. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return the purse?"
"No. I just wanted to request a sad song for Rebecca."

Dating
I can't believe how shallow women on dating sites can be.
I'd been chatting to this girl for a while and we were getting on ok, but then she turned round and said she wasn't interested, JUST because of the type of car I live in.

Christmas these days is a lot like having sex, the build up is great but when it finally comes, I regret spending all that money.

Every time you talk to your wife, you should remember that 'This conversation will be recorded for quality and training purposes.


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