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Christmas and work are just alike... You do all

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Post# of 5246
Posted On: 12/16/2015 5:33:09 PM
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Posted By: getmoreshares
Christmas and work are just alike...
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

My wife said: "At work, my opinion
carries a lot of weight." I said: "So do your legs."

My wife complained: "Everything I eat goes straight to my butt." I said: "Yes, that's generally how the digestive system works."

My wife got upset because I said
I thought her butt looked a little big in the picture I was looking at...............................on Google Earth.

My wife joined a Weightwatchers class.
They met in the basement of a local church. It's weird, because they were on the first floor when the meeting started.

My wife threw away her weight-loss
DVD after three weeks because she noticed that the people on it weren't losing weight either.

Diet: A selection of foods for people
who are thick and tired of it.

Nice that after 17 years of marriage I can still
have a sex dream about my wife.
Last night the role of my wife was played by Jessica Alba.

My girlfriend from high school called today.
She's stoked about getting her driver's license.

I lost out at the S&M Awards, but it was an honor just to be dominated.

Leaving church just now, the priest shakes my
hand and says "Love your neighbor.”
I said "Me too Father, she's got some tits, huh!??”

I think one of my dads might be gay.


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