These are GOOD:> > > 1) I was devastated to find
Post# of 5246
Posted On: 10/30/2015 6:58:10 PM
These are GOOD:>
> > 1) I was devastated to find out my wife was
> > having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon
> > able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to
> > Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
>
> > 2) The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so
> > I did. She's 21, and her name's 'Kathy.'
>
>
> > 3) Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were
> > shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just
> > because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely
> > spoiled our 10th anniversary.
>
>
> > 4) My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his
> > class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3
> > schools this year! You'd better stop before you're
> > banned from teaching altogether."
>
> > 5) The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having
> > sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
>
> > 6) A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead".
> > The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says
> > "The sex is about the same, but the dishes are piling
> > up!"
>
> > 7) I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you
> > get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
> > She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said,
> > "You obviously haven't been listening." Then
> > the fight started.
>
> >
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare
> > for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all
> > of her clothes back.
>
> > 9) The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could
> > contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd
> > love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
>
> > 10) I was approached by a lady who asked me to
> > buy a raffle ticket for an African orphan. I said,
> > "Hell no! With my luck I'd win one!"
> > 1) I was devastated to find out my wife was
> > having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon
> > able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to
> > Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
>
> > 2) The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so
> > I did. She's 21, and her name's 'Kathy.'
>
>
> > 3) Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were
> > shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just
> > because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely
> > spoiled our 10th anniversary.
>
>
> > 4) My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his
> > class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3
> > schools this year! You'd better stop before you're
> > banned from teaching altogether."
>
> > 5) The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having
> > sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
>
> > 6) A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead".
> > The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says
> > "The sex is about the same, but the dishes are piling
> > up!"
>
> > 7) I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you
> > get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
> > She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said,
> > "You obviously haven't been listening." Then
> > the fight started.
>
> >
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare > > for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all
> > of her clothes back.
>
> > 9) The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could
> > contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd
> > love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
>
> > 10) I was approached by a lady who asked me to
> > buy a raffle ticket for an African orphan. I said,
> > "Hell no! With my luck I'd win one!"
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