Dear Clorox, I am writing to say what an excellent

Dear Clorox, I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood and shit all over my new tile floor! I grabbed my bottle of Clorox , to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came off the floor! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on tile floor swabs were negative and no fecal matter was found. Then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, I wrote the Tide and Hefty people as well and need to get these letters out.