Now Gregg, retard is not the politically correct way to refer to buccaneer1961. I think the phrase you want is "incurious capable" or "master chef at word salads" or "ignorance-abundant individual" or "swiss cheesehead" or "astute-resistant" or, of course, "bug stomper."
My guess is he doesn't show for court on Sept. 3. Too scared. Doesn't strike me as one who would be willing to take responsibility for his poor decisions and wrong-headed actions.