The phone rang. It was a sales rep from a mortgage

The phone rang. It was a sales rep from a mortgage
refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage
on your home?"

"No," I replied.

"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"

"I really don't have any," I said.

"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he
tried.

"I don't need any. I just recently had some done and
paid cash," I parried.

There was a brief silence, and then she asked, "Are you
looking for a wife?"