You know you are a true Mainer when:
1) Time off means you are at the Doctors office
2) 80Mph isn't fast enough
3) Hitting a deer is a "calculated" decision (Don't hurt the liver!!!)
4) Ac doesn't work so you hand crank the window all day,
5)You drive 65 through a "raging snow flurry event" around all the Massholes who are off the road in their Hummers and "Sherman Tanks"
6)Wearing "Bean Boots" with Camo clothing is "Dressing up".
7) You leave the lights off,your Shepherd/Pit Bull knows what to do.
8) Your wife/girlfriend knows how to make a 3 course meal off your hot engine block.
9) Your kid's halloween costume subs as their deer hunting outfit with all the fluorescent orange.
10) Driving in winter is better because most of the "Massholes" are gone.
11) You know all 4 seasons:1) No Massholes,2)some Massholes 3)Massholes 4)Too many Massholes
12) Nobody outside of Maine talks "Normal"
13) Landscape design is a decision between a "Blue tarp or a Black tarp" .Deer statue target is optional.
14) Drinking has never been "defined"nor has "legal age".
15) Southerners are "Massholes"
16) A brat is some "Massholes" kid in Walmart
17) The neighbor throws a party to celebrate the "daughter's" boyfriend broke up.
18) The 4th of July picnic was watched by "authorities" for illegal oversized lobsters.
19) Cars rack up more miles going to "Walmart" than going to work.
20) Below 30 temps mean storing "leftovers" in the grill to save freezer space.
21) You know you are in Maine when "Mobile Home" means a pick up truck with a camper on it.
22) You know you're in Maine when all the pick-ups have gun racks
23) You know you are in Central Maine when all the gun racks actually have GUNS on them
24) Winter tires in Maine are bald tires.Summer tires are bald with the steel belts showing.
25) Don't ask directions in Maine. "You can't get there from here" is what you'll get.
Kelt
