In other postal news, since the USPS has cut its t

In other postal news, since the USPS has cut its ties with Lance Armstrong and will no longer be underwriting a cycling team, Joe Asscracker, Headmaster of the USPS announced today that they will be using the funds saved from this sponsorship to open all post office facilities on Sunday's, provide Dunkin Donut 24 hour drive thru service at nearly 7000 post office locations, and will make every letter a "priority" insuring delivery within 18 hours! That's called government innovation!