One day Mrs. Flanagan feels sickly and goes to the

One day Mrs. Flanagan feels sickly and goes to the doctor for a look at. The doctor looks her over and says, “Well now, Mrs. Flanagan, I’m perplexed on your condition but if you bring a urine specimen to me in the morning, I can tell exactly what’s wrong.”
Mrs. Flanagan went home and said to her husband, “The doctor wants me to bring him a urine specimen in the morning. I don’t know what a urine specimen is, what am I to do?”
Mr. Flanagan replied, “I don’t know, but if you go see Mrs. O’Toole, she’ll know what to do.”
Mrs. Flanagan then went down the road to Mrs. O’Toole’s and returned a few minutes later with her clothes torn, a black eye, bruises all over her body, and her hair tangled like a bird nest.
A shocked Mr. Flanagan gasped, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, woman! What happened to ye?”
“I went to see Mrs. O’Toole and asked her what a urine specimen is and she said ‘Piss in a bottle, woman.’” So I said, “Go shit in yer hat!,” and the fight was on.