If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picki
Post# of 5246
Posted On: 05/02/2014 9:28:57 PM
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If you give a man a fish
you kinda suck at picking out gifts.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet, then revenge is basically ice cream.
Writing is a great career when people like
hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you.
When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them
"Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours".
Thanks to this HUGE spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote?
You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge.
My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board
anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
I've grown my mustache down over my mouth
and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with
vengeance.
We'll see about that.
I just swallowed a little hair color. I think I'm going to dye.
I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.
Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out
of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that "It's 4 am!" attitude, mmkay?
Just saw a touching BP commercial where
BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth.
Actually, the past tense is 'hanged' as in 'he hanged himself'.
Sorry about your dad, though.
If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes
a crackhome.
In India, when they say there’s an elephant in the room, there’s an elephant in the room.
Toronto Police have found a head, hands, and a foot in a river.
There are no theories yet but the hokey pokey has not been ruled out.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I'm sobering up.
you kinda suck at picking out gifts.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet, then revenge is basically ice cream.
Writing is a great career when people like
hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you.
When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them
"Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours".
Thanks to this HUGE spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote?
You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge.
My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board
anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
I've grown my mustache down over my mouth
and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with
vengeance.
We'll see about that.
I just swallowed a little hair color. I think I'm going to dye.
I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.
Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out
of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that "It's 4 am!" attitude, mmkay?
Just saw a touching BP commercial where
BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth.
Actually, the past tense is 'hanged' as in 'he hanged himself'.
Sorry about your dad, though.
If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes
a crackhome.
In India, when they say there’s an elephant in the room, there’s an elephant in the room.
Toronto Police have found a head, hands, and a foot in a river.
There are no theories yet but the hokey pokey has not been ruled out.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I'm sobering up.
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