A husband and wife love to golf together, but neit
Post# of 5246
playing as well as they ought to, so they decide to take
private lessons from the club "Pro." The wife wants to get
her nails done, so the husband has his lesson first.
At the 1st green, the husband takes his first swing and misses
the ball. On his second swing, he hits the ball but pulls it
so far to the left it hits a tree and drops into the brush.
"No, no, no, you're gripping the club too hard!" said the Pro.
"Well, should I be using a two-iron?" said the man.
"Hold the club gently but firmly, just like you'd hold your
wife's breast. And follow through in a flowing motion." said
the Pro. The man takes the advice, drops a new ball, makes
a swing, and POW! The ball travels straight up the fairway
200 yards and lands on the next green. He plays 9 holes,
makes every putt, and finishes 4 under par. He goes back
to the Club and tells his wife the good news, and she can't
wait until the next afternoon for her lesson.
The next day they arrive at the Club, meet the Pro, and the
husband says "I'll hang out at the bar and watch some TV.
Enjoy your lesson, take his advice, and you'll be certain to
improve your game." On the first green the Pro watches
the wife's swing and says "You're doing the same as your
husband. You're gripping the club way to hard. Imagine
the shaft is your husband's penis, grip it gently when you
address the ball, and be sure to rotate your hips as you
follow through. The wife tee's up, takes a swing, and THUMP.
The ball rolls about 4' to the right, a divot flies 4' to the
left, and the club somersaults 15' up the green. "That was
great hip action," said the Pro. "But next time take the club
out of your mouth."