The Washington Post has published the winning su
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Posted On: 02/22/2014 6:51:49 PM
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The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee
(n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.),
appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to
give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to
attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.),
impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to
walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by
a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding
hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The
belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.
The winners are:
1. Coffee
(n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.),
appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to
give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to
attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.),
impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to
walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by
a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding
hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The
belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.
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