GETTING OLDER A distraught senior citizen
Post# of 3036
Posted On: 09/20/2012 7:54:32 PM
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GETTING OLDER
>
> A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
> "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication
> you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
> "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
> There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
> "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
> because this prescription is marked
> 'NO REFILLS'.."
>
> ***********************
> An older gentleman was on the operating table
> awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
> a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
> As he was about to get the anesthesia,
> he asked to speak to his son.
> "Yes, Dad , what is it?"
> "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother
> is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
> (I LOVE IT!)
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Aging:
> Eventually you will reach a point when you stop
>
lying about your age and start bragging about it.
> This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."
>
> ---------------------------------
> The older we get, the fewer things
> seem worth waiting in line for.
>
> ---------------------------------
> Some people try to turn back their odometers.
> Not me! I want people to know why I look this way.
> I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
>
> ********************
> When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
> think of Algebra.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> You know you are getting old when
> everything either dries up or leaks.
>
> -------------------------------
> One of the many things no one tells you about aging
> is that it is such a nice change from being young.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~
> Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
> *********
> First you forget names, then you forget faces.
> Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
> it's worse when you forget to pull it down.
> ````````````````
> Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts aroundWal-Mart
> when they collide.
> The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
> and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
> The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...
> I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
> The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
> The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old,tall, with red hair,
> blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
> What does your wife look like?'
> To which the old guy says,"Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
>
> *********************
> (And this final one especially for me,)
> "Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
>
>
>
> Now,
> if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . . stick around awhile . . . it will!
>
> A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
> "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication
> you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
> "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
> There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
> "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
> because this prescription is marked
> 'NO REFILLS'.."
>
> ***********************
> An older gentleman was on the operating table
> awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
> a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
> As he was about to get the anesthesia,
> he asked to speak to his son.
> "Yes, Dad , what is it?"
> "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother
> is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
> (I LOVE IT!)
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Aging:
> Eventually you will reach a point when you stop
>
lying about your age and start bragging about it.
> This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."
>
> ---------------------------------
> The older we get, the fewer things
> seem worth waiting in line for.
>
> ---------------------------------
> Some people try to turn back their odometers.
> Not me! I want people to know why I look this way.
> I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
>
> ********************
> When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
> think of Algebra.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> You know you are getting old when
> everything either dries up or leaks.
>
> -------------------------------
> One of the many things no one tells you about aging
> is that it is such a nice change from being young.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~
> Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
> *********
> First you forget names, then you forget faces.
> Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
> it's worse when you forget to pull it down.
> ````````````````
> Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts aroundWal-Mart
> when they collide.
> The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
> and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
> The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...
> I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
> The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
> The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old,tall, with red hair,
> blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
> What does your wife look like?'
> To which the old guy says,"Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
>
> *********************
> (And this final one especially for me,)
> "Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
>
>
>
> Now,
> if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . . stick around awhile . . . it will!
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