An elderly male called 911 and reported, "A woman over here doing some yard work in one of those thong bikinis." "Sir," said an exasperated dispatcher, "911 is an emergency number. What do you expect the police to do about a woman in a thong bikini?" "Nothing," the guy said. "But if she keeps bending over the way she's been doing, I will be having a heart attack within the next 10 minutes, so I just wanted to alert you to sending an ambulance for me."
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