Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean.
Post# of 5246
You say alcoholic, I'll say alcohol enthusiast
When life hands you lemons, find someone with tequila and salt!
It's true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
Alcohol is never the answer... But it does make you forget the question.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
"Relationship" has 12 letters but then again so does "Time For Shots"
What doesn't kill me, makes my drinks stronger
Listen, I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.
Some things are better left unsaid, but I'll probably get drunk and say them anyways
I was going to write a joke about alcoholic midgets but I don't want to lower the bar.
Chemically speaking, alcohol is a solution.
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink because I have problems.
Two midgets walk into a mini-bar.
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy alcohol.