All o' ye pirates know this one, doncha?

A pirate walks into a bar after being away for several years, and the bartender says, "Say, you look a little different than the last time you were here."
The pirate says, "What do you mean?"
The bartender says, "Well, for starters, you never used to have a peg leg."
"Oh, that," replies the pirate. "Well, arrrrh, we had a sea battle and a cannon ball blew off me leg. But the ship's surgeon fixed me up with this peg leg."
"Well, how did you get the hook?" asks the barkeep.
"We had another sea battle and some guy chopped off me hand," the pirate explains, "but the ship's surgeon fixed me up with this hook."
"What about the eye patch?" asks the bartender.
"One day I was on the top mast keeping watch," says the pirate, "when an albatross flew over and pooped right in me eye."
The bartender is incredulous. "You mean to tell me that bird poop will put out your eye?"
"Well," the pirate explained, "I had just gotten the hook..."