The  Glasgow Brothel The madam opened the  brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed,  good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I  help you sir?" she asked... "I want to see Valerie," the man  replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.  Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam. "No, I  must see Valerie," he replied. Just then, Valerie appeared and  announced to the man that she charges £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and  they went upstairs. After an hour,  the man calmly left... The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no  one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive.  There were no discounts. The price was still £5000. Again, the  man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.   After an hour, he  left. The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone  was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he  paid Valerie and they went upstairs... After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" The man replied,  "Edinburgh." "Really", she said, "I have family in Edinburgh." "I know." the man said. "Your  sister died, and I'm her solicitor.  I was instructed to deliver your £15,000 inheritance in person..." The moral of the story is  that three things in life are certain... 1.  Death 2.  Taxes 3. Being screwed by a  lawyer