A young man goes off to college in Alabama. Half way through the 
semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. 

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is 
developing! They actually have a program that will teach 
our dog, Ol' Blue, how to talk!" 

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that 
program?" 

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get 
him in the course." 

So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. 

About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money runs 
out. The boy calls home. 

"So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks. 

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm - they've had such good results they've started to teach the animals how to read!" 

"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that 
program?" 

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." 

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end 
of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. 

So he shoots the dog. 

When he gets home, his father's all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I can't wait to see him!" 

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just 
before we left, Ol' Blue was in the recliner, reading. 

Then he turned to me and said, "So, is your daddy still messing 
around with that little blonde down the street?" 
The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that SOB before he talks to 
your mother!" 

"I sure did, Dad!" 
"That's my boy!" 

The kid went on to law school, and now holds office.