Always have a back-up plan: 



A man in rural Minnesota wakes up one 

morning to find a bear on his roof. So he 

looks in the yellow pages, and sure enough, 

there's an ad for "Up North Bear Removers." 



He calls the number, and the bear remover 

says he'll be over in 30 minutes. 



The bear remover arrives, and gets out of 

his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 

a 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean old pit 

bulldog. 



"What are you going to do?" the homeowner 

asks. 



"I'm going to put this ladder up against the 

roof, then I'm going to go up there, and 

knock the bear off the roof with this baseball 

bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit 

bull is trained to grab his testicles, and not 

let go. The bear will then be subdued enough 

for me to put him in the cage in the back of 

the van." 



He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner. 



"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. 



"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the 

f--kin' dog."