Oldie, but the British Open is happening now.

A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golf pro: "Now hold the club as firm as you hold your wife's breasts". The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says "Excellent!" Now the woman takes her turn. Her ball goes 30 yards. Golf pro: "Not bad, try holding the club like you hold your husbands dick." She swings and the ball goes 10 yards. Golf pro: "Not bad, but now try taking the club out of your mouth and hit the ball."