" The Flat Tire" 

I was traveling between Henderson and Longview the other day when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it, too, was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. 

The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?" 

"Yes, I sure do," I replied. 

"You a Republican or Democrat," asked the old man. 

"Republican," I replied. 

"Well, you can just go to Hell," yelled the old man as he sped off. 

Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question. 

Again, I gave the same answer, "Republican." 

The driver gave me the finger and drove off. I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican or Democrat. 

"Democrat!" I shouted. 

"Hop in!" replied the blonde. 

Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs. 

Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out. 

"What's the matter?" she asked. 

"I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody."