Why I Like Retirement!!! 

Question: How many days in a week? 
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday 

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? 
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner. 

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? 
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. 

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? 
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. 

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called seniors? 
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Sometimes 15% 

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? 
Answer: Tied shoes. 

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? 
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time. 

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? 
Answer: NUTS! 

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? 
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. 

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? 
Answer: Normal. 

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? 
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break. 

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? 
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. 

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? 
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth. 


QUESTION: What do you do all week? 
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.