1. IN THE COMPANY OF FEMALES, INTERCOURSE SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS: 

A. Lovemaking. 
B. Screwing. 
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town. 

2. YOU SHOULD MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME ONLY AFTER YOU'VE BOTH SHARED: 

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. 
B. Your blood-test results. 
C. Five tequila slammers. 

3. YOU TIME YOUR ORGASM SO THAT: 

A. Your partner climaxes first. 
B. You both climax simultaneously. 
C. You don't miss happy hour at your favourite bar. 

4. PASSIONATE, SPONTANEOUS SEX ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR IS: 

A. Healthy, creative love-play. 
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to. 
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about. 

5. SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT CUDDLING A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST HAD SEX WITH IS: 

A. The best part of the experience. 
B. The second best part of the experience. 
C. $100 extra. 

6. YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE'S GAINED FIVE POUNDS IN THE LAST MONTH. YOU TELL HER THAT IT IS: 

A. Of no influence on your affection for her. 
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym. 
C. A conservative estimate. 

7. YOU THINK TODAY'S SENSITIVE, CARING MAN IS: 

A. A myth. 
B. An oxymoron. 
C. A moron. 

8. FOREPLAY IS TO SEX AS: 

A. An appetizer is to an entree. 
B. Primer is to paint. 
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride. 

9. A WOMAN WHO IS UNCOMFORTABLE WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE: 

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy. 
B. Is uptight and a waste of time. 
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

EVALUATING RESULTS: 
If you answered "A" more than 7 times -
check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man. 

If you answered "B" more than 7 times -
check into therapy. You're a little confused. 

If you answered "C" more than 7 times - 
YOU DA MAN!!