An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play ANY musical instrument that you like!" An Englishman gives him a guitar, which he plays better than Hendrix. An Irishman gives him a piano, which he plays better than Elton! A Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes. The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes so the Scotsman asks "Whats wrong? Can ye no play it?" The octopus replies "Play it? Im gonna fuck her brains out, once I get her pajamas off !!!"