An old lady dies and goes to heaven. 
She is chatting 
To St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden 
She hears the most awful blood-curdling screams. 


"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's just someone 
Having the holes bored in their shoulder blades for the wings." 

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries 
On with the conversation. 
Ten minutes later, there 
Are more blood-curdling screams. "Oh my goodness," 
Says the old lady, "now what's happening?" 
"Not to worry," 
Says St. Peter, "they are just having their head 
Drilled to fit the halo." 

"I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm off down to hell." 

''You can't go there," says St. Peter, "you'll be raped and 
Sodomized." 
"Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've 
Already got the holes for that!"